Handling Surprises During College Admissions

College admissions season brings a whirlwind of emotions, excitement, anticipation, anxiety, and, for many, unexpected results. Whether it’s an acceptance to a dream school, a disappointing rejection, or a spot on the waitlist, every outcome carries weight. But what happens when the decision isn’t what you, or your child, had hoped for?

I read a quote online attributed to a Head of School at a prestigious San Francisco preparatory school that I think sums up the process perfectly:

"At this time of year, about half of our students are getting accepted at the schools they wanted, and half are getting rejected. And I don’t know which group is luckier."

It may sound counterintuitive, but there’s a profound truth in this. The college process is often the first time students face a major outcome they can't control. It’s an introduction to one of life’s inevitable lessons: disappointment happens, and resilience is built in how we respond.

For some families, the surprise comes in the form of a waitlist decision, do you hold out hope, or commit elsewhere? Others may have to weigh financial considerations, choosing between a dream school and a more practical option. These dilemmas can feel overwhelming, but they are also opportunities to reframe expectations.

As a parent, it’s hard to watch your child experience disappointment. But this is one of those moments where support matters more than solutions.

Instead of focusing on what went wrong, encourage them to look at what’s still possible. Help them see that their worth isn’t tied to a school name or a single decision.

If their heart was set on one school, remind them that it doesn’t define their future, what they do with the opportunities they have does. Some students transfer after a year, others fall in love with their second-choice school, and many realize, years later, that things worked out exactly as they were meant to.

This season is emotional, but it’s also a chance for growth. Whether the news is good, bad, or uncertain, the way students and families handle surprises now will set the stage for how they navigate the twists and turns of life ahead.

And who knows? Years from now, your child may look back and realize that the unexpected path was the best one all along (I know this is true for me)!

Warmly,
Melina Kazanas

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