Sequel: My grandmother taught me a valuable lesson…and I want to share it with you
Yesterday, I sent out my most heavily read article I’ve ever written: “My grandfather taught me a valuable lesson…and I want to share it with you.”
Today, I get to share with you a sequel of sorts.
Today’s topic: My grandmother, Trish:
Trish is 80-something going on 40…or at least that’s what it feels like. She still swims every day, has more energy than most of my 30-something year old friends…and makes everyone feel welcome in her home. Days before an arrival, she’ll call just to ask about my desired menu for the coming days (side note - everything she makes is amazing, but her poppy seed cake tops the list, just ask my friends).
When I think of the word “complementary”, I think of Trish and Chuck. Where Chuck can be quiet and reserved, Trish is the life of the party, the true glue to any social gathering.
In fact, at a recent party I hosted, my friends seemed much more interested in talking to Trish than to me! And I was quite happy with that dynamic:
They are an impressive couple, ones who truly seem to defy their age.
As I think about my younger years, Trish and Chuck always made sure to be there for the big moments. They were there for every one of my graduations…and Trish made sure to never miss a grandchild’s birthday - a mailed gift and a handwritten note from Trish were staples to every birthday growing up.
Ah, yes…handwritten notes…
Christmas 2023
Remember that word, complementary?
Two years later, the grandparents were at it again. This time, it was Trish’s turn to take center stage…this time, with a two-part gift:
Part 1 - A letter:
Part 2 - A book:
In the same way Chuck’s message rang loud and clear two years ago (“Don’t be afraid to jump into that arena!”), it was time for the complementary side of the household to offer an equally important holiday message…
Trish’s message, passed along
Students, it’s easy to progress through your high school years in a 4-year sprint, a blur. It’s easy to get to that first day of college and think “Where did the last 4 years go? My last years living at home? My last years surrounded by friends, many of whom I’ve known since 1st grade?"
And while I can’t make the time go any slower, I may be able to help you feel their meaning a little deeper.
Every once in a while (it doesn’t have to be weekly or even monthly, just as you really feel moved to do so)...pause for 30, 60, 90 seconds…
Is there anyone in your life, right now, as you’re a 15 or 16 or 17 year old where, when you think of them you say: “You know, they’re an important part of my life right now”?
Anyone come to mind?
Perhaps it’s a coach, someone who’s taken you under their wing, given you that needed pep-talk when you were struggling...and helped you rebound into the athlete you are now.
Or maybe it’s a teacher. Maybe it’s a teacher who just so obviously cares for you, motivates you to be the best student you can. There are some classes you show up to and think, “Eh, here’s another 60 minutes.”...but not this teacher’s classes. These are different. You actually, kind of, maybe?...look forward to their classes?!
Or maybe it’s your parents. Perhaps you’re starting to grow out of those middle school rebellious years and are starting to see just how much your parents give and give and give…without ever asking for anything in return. And perhaps you’re starting to think, “You know, my parents are pretty darn cool…”
Regardless of who it is, I’ll give you a challenge, right here:
Pick up a pen, a piece of paper…and write them a note. Tell them how much you appreciate them. The note does not have to be long. Length is not the point. The point is depth.
A few kind words can change someone’s day, week, year.
A few kind words from a teenager when they least expect it? That could very well be a life changer.
If not now, save for later
I know what it’s like to be 15. Perhaps you’re not in the mindset right now to take this task to heart. I get it. Do me a favor - remember this article for a few years from now. You’ll hit a point during those college years where you’ll really think back on high school, those who had a profound impact on you…and you may want to tell them so.
And guess what? You’ll still be able to.
You see, a few kind words can be written anytime, anywhere, any place. There are no rules. But there is one certainty: the recipient will be more moved than you can likely imagine.
A final thought
If this email was enough to help you or your high schooler appreciate the moment…or perhaps ponder those who have had a real influence on your life…or perhaps even motivated you to sit down and write a real actual note to someone…well, don’t thank me. Thank my grandmother (here’s her real, actual email).
I’ll end the same way my grandmother ended her note:
“Words count, and a few kind words are appreciated more than we realize.”
Jack Delehey
Founder, CollegeConsulting.us
P.S. - I took my grandmother’s tip to heart and recently wrote a note to a lifelong friend. Here was his response:
